Brain Mush

I've come to realize that my brain is not what it used to be, and lets not even talk about my attention span these days. I can't believe I have to focus like this for at least another 4 years. >m< I'm going to go crazy!

Spent roughly 4 hours on wed going through clinical skills with friends and a registrar. It was extremely helpful... but since then, I have not been able to focus on anything!! And only 2 weeks until exams.

I can't believe I just typed there's "ONLY 2 weeks until exams". Usually I'd be thinking "woot, there's still 2 weeks until exam! That's a 1.5 weeks free". But life in med school is not the same as normal uni, I actually don't think I'll finish. >o< What to do?!

Ai. But I keep watching shows because my stupid brain refuses to focus, and I'm looking at random things like Wii fit Plus, which seems amazing and thankfully dad has agreed to buy it this summer. Yay! Because you know, I really really need to lose some weight. Goal? 15 lbs this summer. Yup. that's 1 pound/week. I need to work hard!! I want to be able to wear nice swim suits for once you know.

For now, back to pretending to study, although there's no one to pretend to but my self >.> now that is depressing.

What happens if I fail?!

So. Exams are around the corner, and I'm already stressed about failing. Not about the exams... I think at the rate I'm studying, I'll be fine, but about the very big possibility that I've actually failed already, and they've yet to tell me. I hate how one assignment can decide whether I fail or not. Like how is that fair?? UGH!!



And this totally affects how I book my plane tickets home. I want to go home!! But if by any chance I fail, I'll have to stay behind to talk with tutors, and take extra classes during what they're calling "resit week". So if I book to leave right after the pass lists come out, I'd have to change my flights and pay lots and lots and lots of money to change it. >.> AND! If I fail exams, I'd have to come back in August!!! zomg.. This is so depressing.

I don't think I was as worried before about this assignment as I am now. Hopefully I followed the guidelines correctly... But I recently found out that 3 of my friends failed the last assignment >.> and they're better writers than me, and at the least, actually does things before the last minute... unlike me T_T.... arg... so I'll have to chat with the rents about this posiblity. :S I don't Want to!!! WAHHH!!

On a slightly positive note... and I am unfailingly positive 99% of the time (outside of the occasional rants), I have been studying, AND it's still 3 weeks to final time. Like this is a first! (lol... why does it need such long codes to insert one small emoti??) Usually I'm cramming 2 days before an exam.... but I have to this time! There's too much. I think I'm nearing the limits of my brain for memorizing blood vessels, hormones, receptors, muscles, biochemistry, clotting factors, etc, etc, etc. I need another brain!!! lmao. at least I think I enjoy this more than writing essays. Give me 10 exams, and I'd take them over 1 essay.... I think.



Well back to studying (revising as they say) for me!

End of First Year

Hmm. Only one more month and I will have officially finished my first year of medical school. This still feels unreal to me, and I still wonder how I got here some times. Hopefully, I pass without incidence.

So what's happened these months? Not that anyone cares, but that volcano cost me a week of classes!! And many many many hours of my life on the phone, trying to rearrange flights back to school. But as stressful as that process was, I think I was pretty lucky. I mean, I didn't have to pay extra for a new ticket, or for hotel. I got to stay home for an extra week... but it was still STRESSFUL!.. yeah...

As interesting and exciting medical school may appear to others... it's not too different from regular university courses. At least to me. We go to lectures, we go to dissections, clinical skills, labs. It's all very routine. But we also do some tedious paper work, that is supposed to show our progress in Med school. At the end of every year, we are supposed to hand in a summary/ report of what we have learned/gained/experienced in the past year. We're supposed to do this throughout the year. But who actually does that? I'm filling mine out now, one day before my appraisal, and making up experiences and feelings as I go.

Yup. That's how we roll here.

As a side note, I've finally almost finished my first digital picture. And I did it without references! Woot. It's the alice pic up top I guess... and it's a present for a friend. :P Still need some editing though....


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