Plastics - the art of molding

When away to a plastic surgery conference recently, and boy did it turn my ideas of plastic surgery upside down. I always thought plastics was mainly for aesthetic purposes, but little did I know how much is truly involved and how it can be so powerful. Sure I had some idea that it's not purely boob jobs and nose jobs, but when that's all we ever hear in the news, that's what you associate plastic surgery with. There were a series of lectures at the conference, and although I can't remember any great details, there were some pretty sweat pictures. Allow me to be a gawking child for a moment here. I had no idea you can transplant hands/limbs!! Wow. The skill it must take to attach a foreign limb to a person, with all the intricate muscles, not to mention nerve fibres literally blows my mind. There were other techniques that were extremely interesting, but not being a scholar of words, I leave it at this. Now I'm still unlikely to ever want to do surgery, but this is some pretty sick stuff they are doing. My wonder at and interest in medicine has officially been slightly revived for the time being.

In this Medical school game, it seems like I am not a good player

So, just found out I got rejected from a summer scholarship at home. This truly bites, big time. This sucks like finding out you have just failed your final. And the game of trying to find a supervisor this summer is sucking even worse, with each email of rejection, it's like I'm getting another door slammed in my face. I don't even know why I bother. I just want to be a student and not worry. Is this too much to ask? But then again, I don't really want to study most of the time either, unless I'm supposed to do an assignment instead. Anyone care to tell me what the heck is wrong with me? Maybe I really did pick the wrong profession. I'm definitely not good at this game of medicine. Maybe I don't want it enough. Maybe.

The Immune system is our mafia family

I was watching the Kaplan videos on the immune system to study, because our lecturers at the medical school are absolutely useless in this subject (and quite a few others, but I won't go on). I vaguely remember the lectures as being right over my head, and the power point to be mind boggling confusing. This caused me to hide from even touching the notes for well over a month. Which is nothing new, except in this case, I might as well not have gone to the lectures.

So I gave up even trying to recap the university lectures and has gone straight on to Kaplan. I think some reviews about Kaplan are not that great, but this lady (I forget her name) is actually making me want to learn about the immune system like I actually care. I like how she says the immune system totally makes sense if you imagine it as your mafia family. It's aim is to kill foreign things that piss off the family (host). It is executed to precision, i.e. it only works when it has too, and turns off when it's not needed. And damn can it hold a grudge.

So that's my poor attempt at a blog not on ranting for once. Hopefully my writing improves overtime. Having a doctor that's awful at writing scares even myself sometimes.

Digging my own grave

So many things in my life could probably have occurred differently if I haven’t dug my own grave with my bad habits. When most people think of medical students, they probably think self assured, proactive, brilliant. Somehow, I don’t think I fit any of those descriptions.

I’m never sure of my actions, my work, my performance. I frequently want to (and do) avoid things I’m not sure about. Which adds up to a lot of things. And I am definitely not brilliant. But I think the avoidance factor probably costs me the most. As far as opportunities go. Today I was emailing professors back home to see if I can get a summer position. As was my story for the past 3 summers, I’ve started too late. I’ve been putting this off because of uncertainty, and now, it’s probably too late.

Do I really never learn? When will I figure out that avoiding things doesn’t make things better, and just digs a deep deep grave for my self. And possibly my future.

Recently I’ve met so many truly inspired medical students who go out of their way to get things done, to help out, to seize opportunities, and enjoy working hard. It’s made me reflect a lot these days, and the changes I want to make in my life.